Monday, October 26, 2009

Edits

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Tips for NewsHounds
Pease

Explanations of some common errors and confusing highlighted comments Pease may put in your stories.

• slug every story at the top like this:
Fire (topic)
Pease (your name)

• DON’T write broadcast news leads. Like this: “Fire strikes a home in Logan….” That’s barely English. Write complete sentences in past tense: “A Logan home burned to the ground Tuesday night…..”

• ¶ One sentence/idea per paragraph (see my versions for examples)

• Use surname only after first reference (Joy Ferguson becomes Ferguson, not Joy.)

• No honorific titles: no Mr./Mrs./Ms. (except in stories where there are two or more people of the same name, but try to avoid it even then). No “Professor Andersen”

• No names of unknown people in lead (Floyd Finger). If you tell Fred that Floyd Finger was arrested, what will he respond? (“Who?”). So refer to such people in descriptive terms first, and by name in the second paragraph. See my version of the Andersen fire story of the Finger-Mommish crash for examples. (Exception: feature stories can start with unknown people—the goal is to pique the reader’s curiosity.)

• Don’t Overwrite!!! Keep it simple. See Safire’s writing tips: URL

• Attrib=use attribution. You MUST cite a source for ALL statements of fact (except “The sky is blue.”) When you report that Mommish has gone to the hospital, use “police said.” When you say the cause of the Andersens’ fire was electrical, cite the source (asst. fire chief).

• AP = AP error. Look it up.

• ASK = this is wrong. ASK me why if you can’t figure out why I’ve highlighted. (which should be easy when you compare to my versions)

• NEVER start a story with WHEN element. WHEN doesn’t matter until you know WHAT. So, “Tuesday night so-and-so spoke” is backward; write, “A prominent so-and-so told audiences Tuesday night….”

• SP*! = Spelling Error.

• AWK! or SYN = awkward construction/syntax

• FE! = Fact Error! You’re Fired!

• punct! Punctuation error. (NOTE: no semi colons, punctuation ALWAYS inside quotes…)

• When to hyphenate: Use hyphens to connect words that together modify/describe another word(s). For example, there’s no hyphen when you say the boy is 4 years old, but hyphenate 4-year-old boy, because “4-year-old” goes together to modify “boy.” NO: a six car wreck; YES: a six-car wreck. NO: a Pulitzer Prize winning editor; YES: a Pulitzer Prize-winning editor. NO: a hand me down; YES: a hand-me-down (in this case, the WHAT? is implied by the context, so the whole thing is a “hand-me-down” or you speak of a “hand-me-down sweater,” where “sweater” is modified by “hand-me-down.” Get it?

• Past/Present: Most news you will report will have already taken place, right? So use past tense in most circumstances (said, not says—unless it is something the source ALWAYS believes). There are exceptions.

• Avoid 1st (I/We) and 2nd person (you). First-person places you, the reporter, in the story; second-person sounds like you’re talking at the reader, which can be annoying. Exceptions: 1st person OK for experience stories—like what it felt to be caught in an avalanche. 2nd person OK for how-to stories—like how to housetrain a puppy…

• Rept: Repetitive—tighten.

• SDT. Show, Don’t Tell. Don’t tell the reader that it was a wonderful speech—you have to show it through your selection of facts, quotes, etc. Ex: NO: The speech was well received… YES: The student audience interrupted the speaker several times with applause and laughter…

• AVOID the “city council met…” lead—the blah-nothing “an event happened” lead, and tell the reader what happened, which will imply a meeting or a speech or an accident. Ex: NO: The Smithfield City Council met Tuesday…. YES: The Smithfield City Council voted 4-1 Tuesday…. NO: A Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and editor spoke Monday…. YES: A Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and editor told students Monday that there is no greater joy than writing…. NO: There was an accident Wednesday at the corner of Main Street and 300 South… YES: A Main Street crash killed a 30-year-old Logan plumber Wednesday …. In all these cases, the NO leads are correct, but boring and a slow start to get to the “So what?”; the YES versions imply the meeting/speech/accident while giving the reader more information. Get it?

More tips to follow…..

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